Punching her ticket

Today I was asked by a Marine wife to do her a favor. Apparently, Tricare will allow the

active duty spouse of a Marine to recieve a one time elective surgery. In my experience this is always either Cosmetic Surgery or a Gastic Bypass. When asked, I laughed heartily and she did not. I then was fairly suprised, amused, incensed and then finally figured "What the Hell! "

My patient wanted a Boob Job, which is of course is a real shocker. She explained to me that to get these Big Fake Boobs, I needed to write a letter describing the damaging Psychological effects her small boobs had caused her. I felt like I was really getting into the Groove of this one so I wrote:

Dear Tricare,

I am writing to you in regards to the Trauma my Patient, Laura S. has suffered as a result of Congenital Breastapenia. She has since Puberty not developed her Mammary Glands in a Fashion that has allowed her to feel loved by her family, boyfriends and now her husband. Society itself frowns upon these measly mosquito bites she claims are A's.

A minus..I would say.

I myself found that I could not imagine such an afflicted woman growing up to be Married to an

American War Hero, who gets home from Iraq or Afghanistan to bury his Psychic Wounds in the Bosom of his wife, but instead raps his yearning buzz-cut head against the Hard, uncompromising "Flat as a Board" chest of his Harridan of a wife.

They both have discussed the increasing trips to the video store by her husband to watch "Exercises Videos" in his locked Man Cave. During their twice daily acts of intercourse, Laura has noticed how he closes his eves until he can view her firm rear or nether parts, which he say says are looking " Real Good."

My position on this Tricare, is when will this Warrior Couple have suffered enough? All Mrs. S wants is her allotted right for Tricare to give approval to have her Breasts enhanced to a normal size, which she has assured me are modest 36 Triple C's .

I would stake my professional opinion that allowing this woman to fill out a triple C cup would relieve the chronic depression, anxiety, and marital difficulties this poor Woman has suffered from far too long. it may even save the life of this woman and allow a baby to one day suckle at something more than an unhappy and sour teat.

I hope you would proceed with fulfilling her rights under Tricare and I would be happy to speak with you if there are any questions or concerns.

Best Regards,

J. Wiley Dickerson, III M.D.

Medical Director

B Memorial Hospital.