A Slow Death

  The ER was hopping, traumas were coming in and I was called in to see a Suicidal Patient, Rob G.
He was 21, self declared "Emo", and was down  from the Upstate visiting a sister. She had called the Police as she was afraid he might harm her children.
     When I went into the room, he was in the Fetal Position and only began talking after he realized it was the quickest way to get me to leave.
  Doc Wiley:  So what's up? How did you end up in the ER?
  Rob G. : My sister called the cops, said I was weird, and then she kicked me out.
(Just then my favorite Night Nurse ,Katie, brings me his Urine Drug Screen.)
  DW: Impressive, You managed to pop positive in 6 out of 7!
  RG:  what did I miss?
  DW: Hallucinogens..too bad , almost a straight sweep.
  RG:  What are those...
  DW: you know LSD, 'Shrooms
  RG: Oh yeah, I don't like them,  they mess me up......
  DW: Hmmmm.... So I hear you were wanting to kill yourself.
  RG: ...........
  DW:  ...And..
  RG:  I was going to jump in front of a car.
  DW: What stopped you?
  RG:  They were all going too fast.....I was waiting on a slow one.
  DW:  Seems like a fast Car would work better though..doesn't it? I mean if you are trying to kill yourself.
  RG:   Well I didn't want to get too hurt bad, even if I was killing myself.