Says Dickerson, "I was minding my own business, when my wife Kim came out from Bedroon wearing a nice Floral Ensemble. She had been shoppng that day and had a few questions for me."
Imediately alert, Dickerson said he felt adrenaline began to course through his body.
"Do you think this outfit makes my hips big?......and then " I mean do I look Fat in this?" his wife of many years, Kim Dickerson asked expectantly.
A veteran of this type of question, which to his knowledge, he has never answered correctly, he states to this Reporter that he fought back the urge to blurt out too quickly...."No way! It looks Beautiful on you, makes you look thinner, in fact!", as a too spontaneous assement could be interpreted as Dickerson not really considering the Hip and Fat implications Properly.
Trying not to let on to the fact this Anxiety level was rising...He waited , Looking with an Air of Studiness that he has cultivated, at his Wife's clothes and then asking her to make a turn. "Why... does it already make me look Fat from the Front!!!" she demanded. "No, No", Dickerson reports he stated said in a placating voice , "It 's very beautiful, I just want to see it all the way around you...you asked my honest opinion, Didn't you? " he cleverly answered back.
With his best look of Women's Fashion Apparale Appraisement, he studied the look and fit for 41.3 sec, which he had previously determined optimal for believability. Deciding not to push too hard by asking her for another turn, which this Reporte note he has had only a 47% success rate, Dickerson, calmly as he could muster, despite his skyrocketing sense of Doom, smoothly delivered.. " You know honey, I think it reminds me of that blue dress that you bought that I like so much, you look good....I think its a good fit"
She apparently looked at him with narrowed eyes," you said that last time, when I asked you about clothes...plus you never said anything about it making me look skinnier or normal......
Descending in despair, he quickly retorted but with a bit of desperation in his voice, which she detected.."You didn't ask me about Skinny, you said does it make me look Fat! "
"Well if you didn't think I was fat, you would have said it" he noes she said delivering the Coup de Grais...while he sunk low into the couch.Reaching to break even...."but you always look Skinny and Beautiful to me! "
Hoping against hope..he met her gaze evenly although he felt his left eye give a slight nervous tic..."You always say that..." she noted neutrally but not angered, and then pivoted and went back to the bedroom, while Dickerson sunk into the Couch relieved but mentally exhausted.
He had done it though.. his Husband Survival Skills came through.. "Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner, he laughed to himself as Self satisfication set in and he turned on ESPN.
Then he heard a voice from the Bedroom," Hun, Don't go anywhere I want to Show you these Pants"..............
No comments:
Post a Comment